


The stars of home

by IaMcHrIsSi



Series: Consequences of the night [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Jason goes to college and studies English Lit like he always wanted to, both Jason discussing bruce and others discussing their abusive parents, tw: discussion of abuse through a parent, what if dc actually let characters deal with their trauma?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 06:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IaMcHrIsSi/pseuds/IaMcHrIsSi
Summary: Post RHATO 25, Jason decides to quit everything and go to college. Incidentally, he finds happiness.Or: What if people actually acknowledged that Bruce is really abusive towards his kids in canon sometimes, and actually thought about what that means for said kids.





	The stars of home

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is me working out my feelings about RHATO 25. Don't get me wrong, I want Bruce and Jason to reconcile, but like, we all know it wouldn't actually be a healthy reconciliation. It would probably just be Jason apologizing a lot and everyone sweeping Bruce actually beating his own son up under the rug, because we can't acknowledge that Batman is an abusive father.
> 
> Like, usually, I prefer to just ignore that issue in it's entirety, but I also felt like I had to write this. Because at this point Jason is kind of genuily better of without Bruce.

Roy patches him up. He gets him out of Gotham, cleans up the wounds, offers pain meds, and is there, ready to listen if Jason ever wants to talk. He doesn't, but he appreciates the gesture anyway.

Roy is the only one who shows up. Not Dick, who talks a big deal about family when it's easy but never seems to be there when it gets hard. Not Kory, who was once as close as Roy. Not Artemis or Bizzaro, but they're... disappeared, so Jason's not sure what the hell he's supposed to think about them. Not Bruce, who Jason doesn't even properly admit to himself he was hoping for.

Roy shows up and is awesome. He's awesome and Jason doesn't think he'll ever be able to repay him for this, ever.

But Roy has his own complicated life to get back to. He tells Jason he could stay, blow off Oliver and Dinah and everyone, but Roy is just barely getting his life back under control, and there's no way Jason is going to endanger that progress.

So they buy some burner phones, encrypt them, and then Jason waves of Roy with a promise to call.

* * *

He gets into a bus one day and just falls asleep. He didn't check the destination, but that's okay. It's not like he particularly cares about where he's going anyway.

He wakes up a couple hours later when the driver kicks him out. The city he's ended up in is kind of tiny, but that just might be because he grew up in Gotham.

He gets his bag and starts exploring. It's weird to not only not know where he is, but also not have a mission or anything. He can't remember the last time he didn't have any sort of plans.

It's an accident, really, when he finds the library. A very happy accident though. There's no controls at the entry, and a gigantic Shakespearean section.

* * *

He ends up staying in town. There's a small motel, nothing fancy, but nice and owned by a sweet old lady that always makes sure he eats enough at the buffett because 'you're way to skinny for a young man your age'.

It's nice.

He goes back to the library every day, just to read. He's not had time to do that for a while, either, he realizes. He forgot how awesome it is to just disappear into a book.

He calls Roy every couple days, just to prove he's still alive. Sometimes their conversations are short, clearly between missions, sometimes Roy spends hours complaining about Oliver. Jason is fine with both.

* * *

“You know, honey, my niece teaches English lit at the community college here.” Rosa, the owner of the motel, tells Jason one day. He looks up from Hamlet.

“That's awesome.” He says. “I always wanted to study English, but...”

“But what? You're a very intelligent young man, and the application time for this semester's not over yet. You could be good, I'm sure of it.” She seems so sure of it.

“I'm not sure I....” He'd have to fake an identity. Way better than the one he's using now, he'll need a fake diploma from High School, and a job, probably. He has enough funds to live, but that would raise a lot of questions, so...

“Oh, tut tut. I've been wanting to find someone to help me out here for a while now, and you're strong enough to lift all the things I can't. I can't pay that much, but you could live here for free, and the community college isn't that expensive.”

It's tempting. It's so, so tempting.

“I can't take advantage of you like that.” She's so nice, and he's.... poison, to everyone and everything.

“You aren't. I really need the help, these old bones aren't what they used to be, and this way we can help each other.”

It's selfish. It's bloody selfish, to want this so badly. He's long since accepted that a normal life, college, people who like him without having had fought dozens of battles with him, that those things aren't for him, that he doesn't get to have it. But now she's offering, and...

“Okay.”

* * *

Enrolling in college turns out not to be a problem at all.There aren't that many young people who want to stay in Lakeville, he learns. Too small, not prestigious enough. He gets a list of reading he should do before the semester starts three weeks later, but it's mostly Shakespeare, so he's already read it all.

Working for Rosa isn't a problem, either. He mostly just lifts some heavier things for her, and helps her get stuff that's too high for her. He cleans, too, and cooks sometimes. It's nice. It feels good.

* * *

On the first week of college, the TA shows them around the campus. There's some sports activity, including martial arts, Jason notes amusedly, a creative writing group that Jason immediately signs up for, a few reading circles that sound interesting, and a whole slew of selp help groups. Alcoholism, depression, dealing with terminal illnesses... abusive parents.

Jason swallows when he reads that one.

He calls Roy that night, not knowing what to say, and ends up just describing the campus in egregious detail.

“Sounds like you really like it.” Roy says. “Sounds like you should stay there. Hell, I might drop in at some point. Oliver kicked me out again, you know. Nothing terrible, just... Tuesday.”

* * *

He feels terribly out of place at the self help group meeting. He's early, but he's not the first to arrive. There's a wisp of a girl there, small and thin and looking like a strong wind might blow her away. A tall young guy with a scar over his eye. A girl with short hair and dark jeans. A thin guy with a mathematical joke on his shirt.

None of them are looking at each other. It's kind of awkward.

The room fills a bit more in the next ten minutes, but Jason kind of feels out of place. It was better when it was just the five of them, sitting together in silence.

When the first girl starts to talk about her father, about how he used to beat her every day, Jason wants to leave. That's not what life was like for him. When Bruce hit him, he hit back. Jason deserved the beatings.

But then the guy with the maths shirt starts talking.

“My father didn't beat me every day. There were times when things were okay, times when he was nice, even. But I always knew that whatever peace we had, whatever acceptance I gained, it was only ever conditional. The second I strayed away from what he thought I should be it was gone again.”

It feels like a punch in the gut. Like Bruce deliberately breaking his helmet.

Jason bites his lips, and tries to blink back the tears in his eyes. For a few moments, he can't see anything, can't listen to the boy talking on. All is white.

Then, a warm hand on his. One on his shoulder. He looks around, and sees the girl with the short hair and the guy with the scar next to him, not staring, not pitying, btu offering silent support anyway.

Maybe he's in the right place after all.

* * *

The tiny girl is named Sophie, and she's shy and sweet, but also kind of badass for how much she pulled herself out of that wreckage of a homelife. Jason is seriously impressed.

The maths guy's name is Mike, and he comes to apologize for making Jason uncomfortable after the meeting. Jason quickly tells him he has nothing to be sorry for, that's what the group is for after all. He just really wasn't expecting it.

The girl with the short hair is Jen, proud lesbian, who takes no shit from anyone but is also so genuily kind sometimes that Jason kind of wants to cry.

And the boy with the scar is Tom, who doesn't talk much unless it's about sports, but that's okay, too. He doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to.

They stick together, mostly out of circumstance, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to Jason.

* * *

Class turns out to be way more fun than Jason had ever thought. Analyzing literature, talking about stylistics and politics and everything related to the stories Jason loves, even loudly debating whether or not a piece is racist... it's the most fun Jason has had in _years_.

Rosa's niece is a brilliant teacher, and refuses to treat Jason differently because he works for her aunt, which is all kinds of awesome of her. And the other students are pretty damn cool, too.

He even goes out, sometimes, with Sophie and Mike and Jen and Tom. They'll watch movies, or games, or just go somewhere to eat and talk. He feels like he knows them better than he ever knew anyone, and the thought makes him feel kind of guilty. He calls Roy a lot too, after all, and Roy is awesome and his best friend.

But Roy's life suddenly seems so far away, even though it's the life Jason grew up in, too. He's not put on a mask in months, and he doesn't need to, anymore. Lakeville isn't perfect, but violent crime doesn't happen every other night here. He doesn't have to feel bad for not saving people when people don't need saving.

* * *

“What hurts the most is wondering if it was ever real, you know. Because...” Jason swallows. It's the first time he's talking in the group, and Sophie is right next to him, holding his hand, and Tom is glaring at everyone to make them stop staring, but it's still hard.

“Because it wasn't always like this, you know. There were good times. Three years where... things weren't perfect, they never are, but he was a damned good dad. We'd do shit like stargazing just because I liked it. He made time for me, and I felt like I could talk to him about everything. He never once hit me.” He bites his lip.

“Now I can't even properly look at the stars anymore without wondering if he ever truly loved me, or if that was just some sort of show.”

* * *

“Up you go. You're friends are here.” Rosa tells him one evening, after the dishes are done. Jason had kind of planned to do some homework and then call Roy, but Rosa's right. Sophie, Mike, Jen and Tom are standing in the doorway, wearing warm jackets and scarfs.

“Did I miss some sort of plan?” He asks them, trying to remember. He's sure there was nothing.

“Nope. But we're going out anyway.” Jen says, arms crossed, like she's ready for a fight. Jason doesn't want to fight.

“Where are we going?” He asks, curiously.

“Replacing bad memories with good ones.” Sophie says, and gives him his jacket.

“Okay....” He takes the jacket.

“We're going stargazing.” Mike says. “So that you don't have to think of your father when you see stars anymore. You can think of us, then.”

That's... kind of really, really sweet. Jason bites his lip.

(Later, when they're back again, cold but happy, he hugs them all one by one and thanks them quietly. It feels huge, to have them do something like this for him.)

* * *

He writes a poem, in creative writing class, about feeling lost and found at the same time. It's published in the college newspaper, and then in the city newspaper, and then in a regional one.

He's not sure he's that good, but a few people come to tell him how much his poem meant to them. It makes him want to cry, but also smile.

Maybe there is more than one way to help people.

* * *

“The thing is, I still love him. Even after everything, after the abuse, the broken promises, the instability of our relationship, the feeling that one step out of line would end everything... I still miss him. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I miss him.

And I know I'm better of without him. These past months I've been happier than I've been the last few years. But I still miss him. And I think I always will.

* * *

Jen gets a girlfriend. A nice girl, from Sophie's history classes.

Jason is tempted to hack a few things to start a proper background check, but stops himself. Sara Michaels is not some supervillain. This isn't Gotham.

Jen radiates happiness, and it's kind of contagious. They all smile to see her walk hand in hand with her girlfriend, and though Sara does not really join their circle, she becomes someone that Jason thinks might be a friend.

Which means that this is officially the most friends he has ever had. Kind of sad to think about.

* * *

Finals come, and Jason doesn't sleep for days. Not because he has to stop drug dealers or hide from Bruce or anything, but because he has to study and he feels so out of his depth it almost hurts.

“You're going to be fine.” Rosa says, and brings them some hot chocolate. Sophie groans, and Tom looks like he's going to fall asleep sitting, but they all thank Rosa. Rosa is awesome.

Jen brings her girlfriend to study sometimes, but often it's still the five of them. It feels kind of amazing to just... be a group like that. Even if finals are going to kill them all.

* * *

And then it's over, and they all passed, and they have two months free time. None of them want to go home, none of them have a home that's worthy of that name, so they stay right where they are.

They read, and stargaze, and play games, and watch movies. It should feel weird, not to have anything to do, not to have any plans, but it doesn't. It feels good.

Jen goes with Sara to visit Sara's family, and comes back confused.

“It's just... so nice. Nobody yells. I don't have to walk around on eggshells. Her mom caught us making out and just … laughed.”

* * *

Roy shows up out of the blue one day. Just... stands in front of the motel, looking slightly out of place and very much as though he's had a fight with Oliver again. At least he's wearing civilian clothes.

“This town seems... quiet.” He says after they hug. Jason grins.

“It is. Quiet and nice. There's an amazing library here, though.”

“Didn't think you'd like the quiet.” Roy says, pushing his hands in his pockets. It's awkward, which is stupid. Roy is Jason's best friend, the only one from his old life who cares, it should not be awkward.

“Me neither, but it has something going for it. Nice people, no unreasonable expectations.” He hesitates, then goes for it. “No Bruce.” Roy swallows at that.

He shows Roy around, introduces him to Rosa and his friends. Rosa immediately takes to him, tells him to eat more, she will make him some hot chocolate, and Jason's friends read Roy's body language as well as they'd read Jason's.

They take them to watch the newest Fast and Furious together, making sure to keep the conversation light. Jason kind of wants to kiss every single one of them, except he's realizing he's generally not that interested in kissing, so he settles for hugging them all.

In the evening, just before going to bed, Roy asks whether he could stay for a few days. Jason tells him that he shouldn't ever feel like having to ask, because his home is Roy's home, too.

The smile on Roy's face is kind of worth everything, and when he leaves a week later, he looks way better than when he arrived.

* * *

“I have a brother. Older. He was already out of the house when our father adopted me.

He was kind of an ass most of the time. Which was okay, because he wasn't there a lot, and my father was amazing, so that cancelled it out mostly. And he did kind of get better.

The last few years, he's gotten on a family trip. Whenever we talked, he was always going on about being brothers, and how important family is and all that.

But when my father beat me, when he told me what a disappointment I am, that he regretted ever believing in me... my darling brother was nowhere to be found. Family's not that important when it's hard, apparently.”

* * *

Tom's mom shows up one day, just like that. She looks rich, and fancy, and like she spends her entire time making sure everyone knows she's rich and fancy. Jason dislikes her on sight.

Then Tom sees her, and he shrinks into himself. Just... makes himself smaller, and he's pale as a sheet. That's when Jason decides he hates her.

“Tom, darling, it's been _ages_ since we've talked.” The woman says loudly, making sure everyone hears. Tom just shrinks.

“I don't think he wants to talk to you.” Sophie says, this tiny girl with in a flower dress and a voice colder than the Antarctis, and puts herself in front of Tom.

“I will not have you stop me from talking to my son.” The woman says, looking down on Sophie. Sophie rises her eyebrow.

“You heard my friend.” Jason says, stepping next to Sophie. He hasn't really trained in months, but he knows that when he wants to he can still be pretty imposing. “Tom doesn't want to talk to you, so he ain't talking to you. You are going to leave.”

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Jen and Mike standing with Tom, ready to fight if it would come down to it, but they stick with Tom first. Make sure he's okay.

“This is outrageous.” The woman shouts, trying to make a scene. Jason crosses his arms to avoid hitting her, and bites his lips to make the green tint in his vision go away.

“Leave now, or I'll call the police.” Sophie says, face a hard, angry mask, and something about that must get through to the woman, because she turns around and goes. Jason and Sophie wait until she's out of sight, then they go hug Tom.

“Thanks.” Tom mumbles, shaking. He still looks so small.

“Nothing to thank us for. You'd do the same for us.” Mike says, and they all smile.

* * *

Time goes by both so quickly and so slowly it's almost scary. There's no missions, no end of the world, no plans for anything but college, the motel, and his friends. Jason has a full timetable, and yet... he also feels like he has all the time in the world.

It's an amazing feeling.

* * *

Then one day, while they're all sitting together preparing to watch a movie, the news shake Jason up. They're far away from Gotham, Metropolis, or any city with major vigilante action, really, but sometimes it still makes the rounds.

“From Gotham, we hear a major outbreak form the Arkham facility that holds dangerously insane people. Among the escapes are, as far as we know, the Joker, Poison Ivy, Two Face and Harley Quinn. Batman and his allies are fighting to contain the situation.”

Jason goes stiff. He hasn't... he hasn't _forgotten_ the Joker, of course not. He never could. But here, in the peace and quiet, he doesn't have to deal with him often. Never outside of his nightmares. He bites his lips.

“Are you okay.” Jen asks, quietly, and Jason realizes they're all looking at him. Not staring, thankfully, but looking. Someone's turned down the sound, too.

He swallows, closes his eyes for a moment, waits for the panic attack to start. It doesn't. He's scared, but... the panic doesn't set in. The Joker is in Gotham, hundreds of miles away, and he won't come to Lakeville. There's nobody here who would harm him. The Joker will not find him here. He's _safe_. For the first time since his death, he feels well and truly safe.

“Bad memories.” He says, and feels Sophie's hand on his shoulder tighten. “But I can handle it. You guys help.” He smiles, and it doesn't even feel like he's faking it.

* * *

“I think I was kind of waiting for him to show up, you know. Because before, whenever we fought, I'd go back to him, apologize, do the work, and then things would be okay again for a while, or at least we could pretend so.

I didn't do it this time, because this time hurt so much more. But … I guess I expected him to show up, deep down? I expected him to care.

But it's been a year, and I ain't hiding. He could easily find me. So could my brother, for that matter. They just choose not to. Apparently, they really don't care.

And today I realized that I should stop expecting them to. Because if I expect them to show up, if I keep hoping, then all I'm going to get is disappointment. And I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm giving them up. I'm giving the family I had before up, and I'm setting myself free.

I have a family here, I have a future here. I've decided today to stop letting the past define me. I've decided to stop waiting for them to care.

I'm going to build my own future. Without them.”

**Author's Note:**

> If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure that Bruce knows exactly where Jason is and is monitoring his every move to make sure he's okay, which sounds sweet, but because, you know, he doesn't actually show up to apologize and salvage their relationship it doesn't actually do Jason any good. 
> 
> Also, I'm aware that Bruce actually does love Jason, but this fic is written entirely from Jason's POV, and he has pretty good reasons to question that. And a parent's good intentions don't actually mean shit if said parent is abusive about it.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure about Dick, but let's face it, DC is never going to let him take Jason's side against Bruce in anything, so I felt like him not showing up fit.


End file.
